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toddler miracle diet?
Most of us always seem to struggle with diets, whether they be liquid or solid. We go for diets aimed toward our age group and never branch out. Well, now with the toddler miracle diet, you can get that slim body that you were longing for! Just follow the diet plan and the pounds will melt off!DAY ONE Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, and then smear the jelly over your face and clothes. Lunch: Four crayons (any colour), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest) Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Pepsi. Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the rug Vegetable Dyes kitchen floor...DAY TWO Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye. Lunch: Half a tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Dog Food (any flavour). One ice cube, if desired. Afternoon Snack: Lick a lollipop until sticky, take outside and drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on the rug. Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour orange squash over mashed potatoes; eat with a spoon. DAY THREE Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, then rub fingers in hair. Glass of milk, drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays lollipop from rug, lick off fuzz, and put it on the cushion of your best chair.Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up. Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of crisps, some red punch. Try to laugh some punch through nose, if possible. FINAL DAY Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavour), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes; add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog. Lunch: Eat breadcrumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that lollipop and finish eating it. Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.
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